Dear Benedict,
Forgive me, first of all for writing to you directly on a day when you have, in all likelihood, a few other things on your mind.
My reason for writing is to ask whether you could pass on the email address of your HR Department as I have just learned of the vacancy and am considering applying for the position of Pope? I appreciate that this is very much jumping in your grave while it's still warm but it appears I am unable to find the correct address on the internet.
This is most odd as when trying to access www.vatican.va/faq/index_en.htm to access the 'Contact Us' section of your website, the page was blocked by my company's firewall. This is most confusing to me as the firewall is set to prevent access to gambling, alcoholic and pornographic sites. It makes me wonder quite what is contained within the Vatican website and also makes me question whether yours is the sort of organization to which I should be considering associating myself. However, I am prepared to overlook this for now to allow for an open mind when considering whether to apply.
If you could be a love and send me the HR email address I would be most appreciative. If you could include any other details such as a job description, benefits package and an idea of what it is like to work in Rome then that would be perfect.
Hope you're having a smashing day.
Lots of love,
xx
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Come on, spit it out. You're not normally this quiet so let's hear your thoughts.