Auld fellas overheard.

Auld fella Suited: Sure, I listen to the radio all the time. You know the Today Programme on Radio 4?
Auld fella Capped: Now, I wouldn't be one for the radio. I'm a TV man.
Auld fella Suited: Eastenders and Coronation Street and all that shite?
Auld fella Capped: Noooo. I wouldn't have time for all that shite. I'm a film man. I love a John Wayne, a cowboy film, ya know?
Auld fella Suited: Gay.

Gran flew out of the cuckoo's nest

'I'm blind. Well, I'm partially blind. Ooh, David Coulthard!'

Six years after entering her nursing home, two years after losing my Grandpa and too much time spent playing extra time, my Gran finally won her penalty shoot out.

Three weeks after she finally got her wish, today was a day for the family to get together and reminisce following an emotional hour in St Peter's, hearing some anecdotes and failing to sing along to the hymns as the words were blurred by tears.

There's a strong emotional reaction when you suddenly realise you're one generation closer to the top. And a stronger realisation that when you get there and it's time for you to hand over the reins then you want to do it quickly. Goodbyes should be swift and sharp and not drawn out, seemingly endlessly.

So today, Grandma finally has her peace. This is something of a comfort - 'it's what she would have wanted' - but doesn't make it that much easier. In time it will. But not today.

So, as I get ready for a celebration with family who I rarely see, I will remember Grandma as the adopted Irish girl whose eyes sparkled until the end, who was blind, well partially blind, ooh its David Coulthard.

Thanks, Grandma. We miss you.

Silent heckling

Last night, I was taken out on a Mystery Valentine's Surprise Date.
The mystery was not in the date itself; I knew I was going and I knew
who I was going with. This much was not mysterious.

engineering an emergency

Due to emergency engineering works trains are subject to delays and alterations.

The Papal Position

Dear Benedict,

Forgive me, first of all for writing to you directly on a day when you have, in all likelihood, a few other things on your mind.