Tuesday, 28 June 2016

I'm available for rent

Not like that.

I've supported England a long while now and ever since the first tournament I can remember - the 1982 World Cup - we have succeeded in not winning a single trophy.

Thursday, 4 February 2016

Surreptitious Show Off

You know when you're having a chat with someone and you're both basically stating facts that you already know, you know the other person already knows and it's a bonding, pre-going-over-the-top experience which soothes the pain of the massive amount of work which is suddenly going to land on your tiny plate? And then you say,

Wednesday, 6 January 2016

Christmas emotions

You're gently perusing the cupboard hoping for a biscuit. Perhaps a half-eaten bag of crisps. It's forty minutes until dinner and there's no way you can make it. Then you happen upon 
A Christmas mirage. 
A Christmas miracle, 
A Christmas Miragicle:

A forgotten box of spies!

But then you get all middle aged and PC and you find this:

Briefly you wrestle with the dilemma until you remember your new apron:

It's time like these when you realise you still live on the edge.

Sunday, 3 January 2016

Social Extrication

Twelve hours into the New Year and I was inwardly congratulating myself on not having switched on the TV, thereby not having exposed myself to any eye chewing gum; viewing for the sake of it rather than watching because I want to watch something in particular. The congratulations were short-lived when I realised that both my wife and I were side-by-side, phone-in-hand, most likely both on Facebook as our toddler played at our feet.