Oh point one

OK, bear with me. Just getting to grips with the whole blogging thing and using this site. Seeing as I have told nobody of its existence, I don't know that anybody is able to find, let alone want to read this. To be honest I wouldn't bother.

When you start a new journal or a new diary, you want the first entry to be significant, poignant, interesting and perhaps humorous. The type of entry where anyone reading it will chuckle knowingly to his or herself and will instill a desire to read more. I'm not convinced that this first entry is going to live up to expectations and for this I apologise.

However, to anyone reading this I have some comments: Firstly, thanks very much for finding this post. I have no idea how you ended up here but thanks for making the effort. Should you wish to make further efforts, perhaps there is some sort of tool that allows you to make comments to this post and perhaps you would like to reveal the voodoo magic you undoubtedly employed to end up here? Only if you can be bothered though.

Secondly, what the hell are you doing reading this? I don't wish to antagonize the very few people who have found this but have you seriously nothing better to do than read this? I appreciate that you are probably of the opinion that despite you have nothing better to do than read this, I must have even less to do as I am the one spending time writing it. To this, I respond: fair comment. Let's speak no more of this and call it a draw.

So I guess I need to write a little about my intentions with this blog. For years I have wanted to write and have told many people - friends, family, strangers, interviewers, a strange woman who appeared to maintain her sizeable stature to maximize the available flesh and to allow for as many tattoos as possible - that one day I will write a book. I've even bought books on how to write books and one day I intend to read them. I've been saying this for at least 6 or 7 years and, with the exception of one foray into working out the structure to a story with a twist which would transfer directly to a blockbusting, record-breaking, straight to VHS movie, I have made very little progress.

I saw an interview with Stewart Lee in that program where Robert Kryten Llewellyn drives folks round in his Prius interviewing them whilst driving round the streets of - presumably - their local town. Otherwise it would be celebrity kidnapping rather than a talk show on the road. Anyway, the one I saw had Stewart Lee on the streets of Edinburgh and they got to talking about blogs and how Stewart was one of the pioneers of blogs and how he tried to write something every day. Doesn't have to be much, just an observation or two about something from his day. He said that the posts are not always funny or worth reading but sometimes they are worthwhile and amusing. He also said that the discipline of writing a quick note about his day increased his writing speed, succinctness and story-telling ability. So that's what I am trying, too. I may have to work on the succinctness.

Oh, and if it wasn't Stewart Lee then it was Stewart Maconie. One of them anyway.

Right. Oh point one: done.