Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Cheap Shandy

I was right. I so often am. Most would disagree.

Others are wrong. They so often are. Most would disagree.

I was right this time though. A week ago I was riding the crest of the
page view wave. After the last post where I wondered whether I'd crack
the magical One Day Ton, I was astounded to do it again the following
day without posting a single thing.

Now, I'm not one for exclamation marks as I feel as though the reader
should be able to determine their interpretation of the words and
apply their own tone and understanding to what they are reading.
Exclamation marks are dictatorial, bordering on fascist, in their
demands for your brain to read the words in a certain way. I am one of
the brave few who rails against the unnecessary evil which is the
exclamation mark. Anyway, that sentence at the end of the last
paragraph could, I admit benefit from one. But do I now re-write it
with an excitable exclamation mark, delete this paragraph and continue
on worrying about people reading and thinking that I must be some sort
of run-of-the-mill idiot who brandishes willy-nilly an inverted 'i'
without the merest obvious hint of irony or apology? I'm not sure of
the way out of this paragraph now. I think I am going to abruptly end
it without any way, shape or form of grammar or punctuation and leave
people baffled as to where to go next and hope that they do not notice
what is at the end of

I was astounded to do it again the following day without posting a
single thing! This is incredible, thought I. For a little bit of
effort and a tiny 'please please please pay my blog some attention'
post on Facebook, the fruits of my labour were more than I could have
hoped. And that was just on Day 1. Day 2 was an almost-as-eager puppy
but then the market crashed. My page views dropped dramatically and
the high was gone as quickly as it came. But it's not the departed
highs which hurt; it's the devastating lows. One page view today. One.


But then the questions start messing with your mind:
- what am I supposed to write next?
- how do I know it will be interesting?
- will people tell their friends so that more people can feed my habit?

And that all leads to a paralysis which prevents any words finding
their way on to a screen.

So I've decided to buy a smock, quit my job and wear a beret. If I am
going to suffer from an inability to write, I've got to look the part.


  1. I have to disagree with you on the exclamation point matter. Writing is an expressive art form. As a writer you have your own personal voice and tone, which your reader should be able to hear. Besides, I'm an avid user of exclamation points, and I don't like being called a fascist. I ain't no Mussolini!

    And here's a thought. If you as a writer can't be the ruler of your book/blog/whatever universe you write in, then where can you? My readers need to obey, salute and bow in the dust. Or it's guillotine time. Yes, I have one of those.

    Anyway, I think it's time you abandon this meta writing and just write. Who cares if it'll be interesting or not? You can't capture everyone's attention every time anyway(i know you want to, but you can't). And eventually you'll find your subject matter. Or not. But whatevs. Just freakin' write, mkay? If you feed my need for reading your stuff I'll satisfy your hunger for page views. Good, I'm glad that's settled.

  2. ...wish Alain Rolland had quit his job *before* opting for the beret!!!!!!!!!

  3. now I'm not one to judge a book by its cover nor a man by his name but surely some eyebrows must have been raised when A-lan Roe-lon was announced as the referee for the France-Wales match. My suspicions were raised in the build up to the match when the stadium was still empty and in the back of the TV shot, A-lan could clearly be seen arriving on his bike in his stripey shirt. When he bent to lock his bike outside the French dressing room, he nearly dropped his string of onions.

    Can't blame the French for this as if it had happened the other way round, I am quite sure the Welsh would have celebrated the wrong decision just as much as the French did; just a shame it happened and potentially spoiled the game.

    As for the missed conversion, missed drop-kicks and missed penalties, I wonder whether the Welsh perhaps could have got themselves through in spite of the ref?


Come on, spit it out. You're not normally this quiet so let's hear your thoughts.