from: Lord Steven Rawbone confidentially.rawbone@gmail.com
to: bjohnson00@hotmail.fr, johnsonbanka00@gmail.com
date: 18 December 2012 23:26
subject: Re: Mr.P.Rawbone and family
date: 18 December 2012 23:26
subject: Re: Mr.P.Rawbone and family
Dear Barrister Banka Johnson,
I am concerned. I appreciate that you are in all likelihood
fully engulfed in legal and possibly bovine wranglings with the Bank and at the
same time I am quite sure you are involved in the preparations for the funeral
or funerals of my close relative or relatives who has or have passed away.
However, I would be most grateful if you could send me a few words, perhaps a
small gift or a car as a token of acknowledgement that you have received my
emails.
Barrister BJ - do you mind if I refer to you thus? I once
knew an Italian waitress in a small caffe who went by the same nickname though
the reason behind hers was perhaps less salubrious and more profitable for her
than a simple piece of alliteration.
Barrister BJ, please tell me if I have done wrong. I am so
keen to make contact with you so that you can present me to the Bank as next of
kin of Mr.P.Rawbone. This is not about my impending fortune; in all honesty, I
am contemplating offering the 6.5 million US Dollars to a charity as, well, the
people who reveal themselves to be secret millionaires on Channel 4 always seem
very worthy and respected. I know that gratitude and admiration cannot be
bought but it seems they are readily available to those who provide a new
billiards table or boiler to a Youth Centre. That's the sort of selfless act
I'll probably involve myself in when the producers at Channel 4 come
knocking.
Anyway, Barrister BJ, please write me back. Your biggest
fan, this is Steven.
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