Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Barrister Banka Johnson - Episode 1: Chapter 2: Oh, how I miss you Barrister Banka Johnson

from:      Lord Steven Rawbone confidentially.rawbone@gmail.com
to:          bjohnson00@hotmail.fr, johnsonbanka00@gmail.com
date:      18 December 2012 23:26
subject:  Re: Mr.P.Rawbone and family

Dear Barrister Banka Johnson,

I am concerned. I appreciate that you are in all likelihood fully engulfed in legal and possibly bovine wranglings with the Bank and at the same time I am quite sure you are involved in the preparations for the funeral or funerals of my close relative or relatives who has or have passed away.

However, I would be most grateful if you could send me a few words, perhaps a small gift or a car as a token of acknowledgement that you have received my emails. 

Barrister BJ - do you mind if I refer to you thus? I once knew an Italian waitress in a small caffe who went by the same nickname though the reason behind hers was perhaps less salubrious and more profitable for her than a simple piece of alliteration. 

Barrister BJ, please tell me if I have done wrong. I am so keen to make contact with you so that you can present me to the Bank as next of kin of Mr.P.Rawbone. This is not about my impending fortune; in all honesty, I am contemplating offering the 6.5 million US Dollars to a charity as, well, the people who reveal themselves to be secret millionaires on Channel 4 always seem very worthy and respected. I know that gratitude and admiration cannot be bought but it seems they are readily available to those who provide a new billiards table or boiler to a Youth Centre. That's the sort of selfless act I'll probably involve myself in when the producers at Channel 4 come knocking. 

Anyway, Barrister BJ, please write me back. Your biggest fan, this is Steven.

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