Christmas. While all around are celebrating the birth of the little
baby Jesus by stripping the high street of gadgets, toys and pestles
and mortars while pouring as many mince pies and pints down their
throats as they can manage, I have humbly found my path.
It is a noble trade which brings joy to millions. I will be revered in
the highest of high places and riches will bestow themselves upon me
as never before. I do not mean the riches of monetary craving though
this will undoubtedly be a by-product but the riches found in the love
and respect of those with whom I come into contact.
I have been drawn to the career of a car salesman. Not just any cars;
oh no. But cars which have been pre-loved. I passed my interview with
flying colours. I collected my disciple from a local train station,
his chariot of choice gently spluttering in an endearing manner. I
took him for a crawl through a traffic jam, ably demonstrating the
flexibility of first gear. I talked of how there are four other
forward gears which are equally useful. I drove him to my house and he
bought the car.
No haggling over price. No look under the bonnet. No kicking of the
tyres. No questioning whether the radio worked. Not. Even. A. Test.
I am the Golden Child. I'm going to start my own company.
IBuyAndThenSellAnyCar (DotCom). This time next year I'll be