Friday, 16 December 2011

Route 38

The long wait is nearly over. No longer will you have to go through that whole waiting-for-the-driver-to-actually-open-the-doors pain nor suffer from the old why-is-the-heating-on-its-mid-July adage as the solution to your problems is here.

From now on you can hop on, hop off, try to avoid the eye of the conductor and assure him that you have swiped your Oyster whilst travelling with the fresh London air wafting around the back of your knees;

"Boris's Wet Dream" is ready to roll.

According to the very reliable Labour spin machine, these puppies come in at a mere £1.3 million pounds each. That's the equivalent of 50 Priuses. Can't help thinking that they could have saved themselves the cost of redeveloping the Routemaster by just popping down to their local Toyota showroom and picking up 50 of the tree-hugging five seaters. They'd have probably got some sort of multi-buy discount and had them delivered to their home free of charge.

Passenger capacity would have risen from 126 (no standing on the upper deck or the stairs) to 200 though the ignominy of being spotted in a Prius may prevent the uptake.

I bet that you're reading this and planning your trip down to Victoria Station to be the first to ride the dream. Well, get to the back of the queue, sister, as I am there before you and I'm going to be riding the Road to Hackney long before you. Buses are expected every 12 minutes during peak hours so you're going to be 24 minutes behind me. Loser.

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